She made no response, but sat trembling, terrified. She watched again the carefree pleasure of the teenagers – this, she remembered, was how she had been just a few months previous. But now – barely a month after arriving at the RAF – she was a fearful, doubting wreck. What had gone wrong? Why was this world of Pleasure, which she had adored and admired all her life, so prone to jealousy and spite and betrayal? And why was this crazy, objectionable idea – this “‘love’ shit”, as she called it – rearing its ugly head? What about all those Enlightenment ideals? How could people turn their backs on them? And how could she even doubt them herself…? A silent scream arose in her breast: she bottled it up, but she felt moisture and pain behind her eyes, and her fists clenched instinctively in self-defence.Alison felt Eva gently stroke her tits – and suddenly she realised she must have been brooding a long time, for the schoolkids had moved on several verses. There were now several couples in. He would not be ableto go back there at all.His vision swam as tears prickled at his eyelids suddenly. He had toleave his old life behind. Completely. Everything that he knew was asgood as gone now. Turning up at a friend's house and telling them that hewas not dead and was inside this girl would only get him a free ambulanceride to the nearest psychiatric unit.But what to do? He looked at the handbag. There would be a new identityin there. But whose?He looked around. There was a Costa Coffee on the other side of the road.Watching out for traffic he hurried across and went in. Once sat downwith a cappuccino in front of him Alec started to look through the girl'spurse properly.Her name was Daisy Bowman, according to her driving licence. She would betwenty in three weeks' time, and she lived not far from his flat. She hada debit and credit card, several store cards, mostly from clothing shops,and was a member of a nearby gym.He took a sip of coffee and looked at her mobile. She had a.
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